On this journey called "life," we all develop patterns along the way. Sometimes those patterns are helpful and sometimes those patterns leave us stuck and repeating behavior that isn't for our highest good. We each are a sum of all our parts. Every single experience along the way helps to create the people we are in this now moment...baggage and all. It influences how we see the world and the way we interpret the information coming in. We unconsciously manifest situations over and over again in order for us to repeat these patterns. When you become a conscious creator, you understand that everything that appears in your life is something you alone manifested for the LESSON. When we continue to repeat the patterns instead of making different choices, we will keep creating similar situations that often end up compounding and adding to the issues we already need to face and come to terms with.
Every single relationship in our lives is a door of opportunity to make different choices. We only need to step back and recognize our own patterns.
In recent months, I have been given doors of opportunity to recognize my own patterns and make different choices. It is never easy to face your own shadows. It is never easy to look at a situation and see where you are going down a similar path of miscommunication and stuffing your true self aside to keep the peace and please the other person. Make no mistake, I have no one to blame but myself for the choices I was making. It is up to me to stand up and demonstrate self-love by being authentically me. It is up to me to make different choices so that I don't end up right back where I just came from. I take full responsibility for me and every situation, be it wonderful or difficult, that appears in my life.
I think the hardest thing to do is to make different choices in the face of knowing that those choices will cause pain and heartache for all involved. It is hard to make different choices when you know that it requires you to walk away or change the dynamics with someone you love so deeply that it feels your heart could burst. When you can make the painful choices, it means you are finally changing patterns. It means you are finally learning and freeing yourself of old destructive behaviors that no longer serve you.
No matter how much you love someone, sometimes the most loving thing you can do for both of you is to walk away while you still feel that love. Often when we stay and we repeat those patterns, we start to feel resentments that chips away at the love you feel for each other. The issues and problems become bigger than the love. Anger and hatred come in and set up camp where love used to dwell.
When you make those painful choices, it might hurt so bad that you just wish you could close your eyes and never have to wake again. There might be floods of tears and doubt that you have made the right choices. But eventually the sun will shine again. Eventually the tears will fade. Eventually you will be able to breathe again and be able to take a step through that door of opportunity you opened and travel down your new path you just created.
I am ever so grateful for the opportunities I have been given to make new choices. It has been painful and I have cried buckets of tears and had many sleepless nights, but I am still grateful. To the people who have helped create those opportunities, I sincerely thank you and love you very much. Without these opportunities, I can't become the very best version of me that I want to become.
Ask yourself what patterns you are repeating. What steps can you take to dramatically change your life for the better? Don't let fear hold you back. Love yourself and take that difficult first step to ending old destructive patterns.