We Are Family

Signs, Synchronicities, and Spirit Guides

I spoke in a earlier blog post about finding the Channeling Erik site, how it resonates so much with me and has changed my life for the better in many ways. I want to tell you about some of things that occurred over the year prior to this.

It started when I was walking along a path and found a beautiful big crow feather. I remembered how I used to believe they were signs and gifts. Somewhere along the way I stopped believing and yet I kept the feather. Twice more I found big beautiful crow feathers. Sure, I could have explained it away and told myself it was just the time of the year crows molt and that it meant nothing...but the core of my being was saying something else. The fact that it occurred three times was significant to me. I knew there was something more to it but I really didn't know what. Maybe it was telling me simply, "Pay attention because more messages are coming."

 On another day, I was reading my Facebook feed and noticed two amazing owl related posts.

I thought it unusual and owls had never turned up in my feed before and twice within minutes they had shown up. I told myself, "Okay, if I get one more owl, I will KNOW this is a sign from the universe." It is the three thing. I had agreed to care for a friend's baby and when she brought her over, she was wearing a little owl onsie and owl socks. It made me laugh out loud. When I started going to this friend's house, her place had owls everywhere...on pictures, coffee cups, clothing, etc. I would take Baby O on walks and my attention, as if commanded by a voice, would be drawn to old owl statues.  

Owls, owls everywhere. I looked up the meaning and although significant at the time, it didn't completely explain. I remember exclaiming in frustration once, "What do you want?  What do you mean and why do I keep seeing you?!!"  

I do believe things eventually unfold and things become clear, but I was wondering if I was ever going to have that "ah ha" moment of understanding the message the Universe was trying to convey to me. Did I mention that I am REALLY impatient? lol

I started posting the owls that I was coming across to show one of my friends that "see, here is another one!" And by doing this, my Facebook friends actually started to think I loved owls. Well okay, now I do, but I didn't at the time.  People started posting owls on my Facebook wall. People started thinking of ME when they saw owls. And I still didn't know what the meaning was.  I just had to laugh. 

One day, on a walk, I found an owl feather. I thought of it as a gift that was meant for me. I still have it displayed on my wall.

Repeating numbers is the other thing that those silent voices were (still are) drawing my attention to. 11:11 would appear over and over. I saw 333 three times in a one hour period of time while out walking with a friend. Sometimes it was 444; sometimes it was 1222; sometimes 911. These numbers keep coming up and I keep looking up their meanings at the Sacred Scribes site and take comfort in their messages.

I found themes in the messages I was seeing on my FB feed and would know that the Universe had a hand in what messages I was seeing because they were exactly what I needed in those moments. The one I kept ignoring was that I was being told in lots of different ways that I need to meditate. I resisted for a long time, but have since given in and started meditating daily.

I came to a point where I desperately wanted more direct and open communication with my spirit guides. One night I sent a silent message out to my guides requesting this kind of communication before I fell asleep. I wanted to know them and work with them instead of against them.  That night I was given a dream. I dreamed of a person that was familiar to me, but I had never known when he was living. All night I dreamed of him. I would wake and go back to sleep and continue dreaming of him.  His name kept going through my mind, "River Jude Bottom". I woke in the morning with a start and wondered what that was about and tried to remember what it was that I had thought of before I went to sleep. When I remembered, I thought, "Oh my god, River is my spirit guide!"

Not entirely convinced at this point, I went on a quest online to see if others had said that River was their spirit guide too. I typed in the words "river phoenix spirit guide" and the Channeling Erik site was one of the sites that showed up on the first page. I clicked on it and went to the channeled interview and read.  I was both open and skeptical while I read. It was when I reached the part where River said, "The owl is my favorite animal, and blue is my favorite color!" I suddenly felt flushed and a light bulb went off. This is why all those owls have shown up in my life. It was leading up to this one point so that I would believe and know without doubt that he was my guide. I was floored. The part of the interview where Elisa asks if River has a message for humanity and he says, "My message to humanity is, ‘Look at people not for what they show you, but for who they are inside.’" really resonated with me. He also said his life's work now is, " To learn to love himself and start bringing the healing arts—whether it’s music, acting, hands-on healing back to earth." Again, this resonates deeply with me. I struggle so with loving myself, but I am working on it. I suspected that since I am neither a musician or actor, he must be here to help me learn the hands-on healing arts. I guess that is when I was first given a glimpse of what my life purpose is while I am here in physical form.

After this revelation, things started happening. Lights started going off and on.  Bulbs started burning out. The computer turned off and then on without me touching it. The TV turned off and then on by itself while my daughter was watching the movie E.T. and was nearing the end of the movie where ET is getting ready to go back home with his people and was telling Elliot he would still be "here" and points to his head.

While I was watching the movie, "Powder" on YouTube, At a certain point it suddenly started playing from the beginning again. Because I had to work to find where I was in the movie I assumed the scene was significant and something I was being told to pay attention to. It was the scene in which the science teacher (Jeff Goldblum) was talking to Powder in an empty lunch room. The science teacher was talking about how he felt like Powder was what humanity would eventually evolve into in  thousands of years. The scene starts at 58:55.

A fortune cookie fortune turned up on my counter that definitely hadn't been there previously. It said, "You will receive unexpected support over the next week. Accept it graciously." And while I was on a walk that same day, I saw a license plate that had the letters "RJP III".  

While I was driving home one night, my attention was drawn to the right side of the road. The last half of a sign lit up in blue read "river". I looked back to the road and 6 lights on both sides of the highway turned on. I thought, "Okay, this could be River, but it really isn't that unusual for lights to go on when it is getting dark." No sooner had I thought that than 6 different lights further down the road turned off. I laughed out loud.

I have wondered, "Why did he choose me out of all the billions of people on this planet?" But, why not me, right? If like attracts like, River and I are very similar souls with similar core issues. When I look back at my life now and 20 years ago, I have to laugh at how much more of a hippie I am today than I was all those years ago....and I know in my heart that River must have had a hand in some of the directions I have gone in my personal life and choices. I don't think myself "special" because River is my spirit guide. I think our guides are guides to lots of people...and not always as their most recent incarnation on this Earth. 

So when I asked Erik (through Jamie) about the identity of one of my spirit guides (River) and he refused to answer because he said I needed to start trusting myself and my own feelings, I know he is right because I really have been given all the confirmation I need. It is true that I need to stop doubting myself and my own senses.

I found out the recording for the conference call I was on has been inadvertently lost. I think this was the work of my guides because they knew I would put too much importance on the words that were spoken. I would over analyze it and make myself crazy and confused as I sometimes do. 

I love River for being there for me and welcome his presence in my life, but it was finding out that my beloved dog, Phoenix, my maternal Grandfather and my Great Aunt were also spirit guides that moved me to tears. The realization of being loved so much by them was overwhelming and made me shed tears of joy. To all of my spirit guides and angels, I thank you for all of your love and support. I am so very blessed.

Birthing Pains

Unfortunately this will not be the last of these tragic incidences. There will be more as our planet makes her way into a higher vibration. There will be more pain and blood before we come into something new. Think of the atrocities and natural disasters as birthing pains. As beautiful as the birth of a child can be, any woman who has labored drug free knows how much pain goes along with birthing that magnificent little person. There is blood and icky-ness that goes along with that gorgeous baby. Labor hurts and sometimes you think you just can't make it through the pain, but somehow you do. The Phoenix is rising....and when she is out completely, just watch how brightly she shines. Everything is going to be okay. The pain we experience now will make us better people. Good will come from the bad. I know it in my heart to be true.

Channeling Erik, Spirit Guides, Dachshunds and Words of Wisdom

I consider myself a pretty honest person. I have generally been an open book about much of my life, and yet lately, talking about what I believe in, I find so difficult. Sharing some of the things I have recently on Facebook have left me feeling a little naked and exposed. I can imagine some of my more religious friends gasping and disapproving. Because it makes me feel uncomfortable to share this part of my life openly, I know I need to share it far and wide. I need to leap off the cliff and trust that everything is going to be okay.

My spiritual journey has continued and taken me in all kinds of interesting directions. One of those directions is to a website I instantly fell in love with.  Channeling Erik is filled with so many words of wisdom.

Erik, who is no longer confined by the restrictions of a human body, imparts wisdom on such an accessible level. I understand what he is saying. He doesn't talk in riddles or in a way that is so far above the average mind. I don't have to read what he says 20 times to understand what he is saying. There aren't 50 different interpretations for what he says. And to top it off, he is so funny!  I love his humor. I love his raw honesty.  I love him.

Elisa Medhus M.D. hosts a conference call with the Channeling Erik medium extraordinaire, Jamie Butler, every month. Jamie Butler is such a gifted medium. Her energy is beautiful, bubbly, light and genuine. When I watched this video, I fell in love with her and her extraordinary talent:

 

 I have been working on trying to have more direct communication with my spirit guides and I had someone very dear to me I desperately wanted to be given a voice so I could hear them. It was those reasons I decided that I wanted to get in on one of the conference calls. When I clicked the final purchase button I was flooded with nervousness and excitement. I would think about it and get butterflies.

On the day of the conference call I almost missed the call as in my mind I was supposed to call in at 11:10 Pacific time. The call was scheduled for 1:10pm Eastern time. Apparently I am not very good with time conversion. At the very moment that I needed to call in, my husband looked at the sheet of paper I had printed out with the information and informed me that 1:10pm was RIGHT NOW for us. Admittedly, I am not good with numbers. Hahaha I scrambled to get in on the call. My heart was racing and I thought I would literally pass out. I just kept thinking, "Pick me last! Pick me last!" Most people want to go first, but I wanted time to be able to calm myself before I had to talk. I know Elisa, Jamie and Erik are just "people", but I felt a little like I was going to meet my favorite band for the first time back stage.

Jamie called my initials (I wasn't last, but at least I wasn't first either), "O.K." and said that Erik was making a crack about OK and Oklahoma. I was like a deer in headlights and didn't laugh as I might normally. It was like my mind had left me.  I mentioned that I would like to know if there was anyone over there who wanted to talk to me. She asked if there was anyone specific I would like to talk to.  I said, "Yes, my dog Phoenix." I'm pretty sure most people coming to talk to dead people want to talk to human people, but the love of my life was a canine person. That is who I wanted desperately to hear from.

Phoenix (bottom) and Emily (top)

To be honest, I only remember fragments of what was said. It is all a bit of a blur.  When the link to the recording is up, I will link it here. What I do remember is that Jamie said that Phoenix was saying, "I want to come back! I want to come back!" Oh how that warmed my heart because I so want her to come back to me as well. Jamie said Phoenix and I shared a really intense love, which is so true. Phoenix and I went through so much together. It was hard at times, but we loved each other totally and completely through all of her 14 years in her little body.

I asked about who my guides were and discovered that my maternal grandfather was with me as well as a great aunt. At the time I said, "Uh huh" and drew a complete blank. My grandfather died from a stroke in May 1985 when I was a teenager.  

 After having time to get my brain back, I remembered that my grandmother's sisters were fraternal twin sisters, Roseva and Ramona. I suspect the great aunt with me is my Aunt Rosie. I didn't know her well, but remember her fondly from when she came to visit when I was about 4-years-old. My love for coffee started then. The only time coffee was ever made at our house was when Aunt Rosie came to visit. I remember thinking how wonderful that perked coffee smelled and asked if I could have some too. My mom told me she didn't think I would like it. I told her I thought I would. The people who know me well know how much I LOVE coffee. :)

I cannot tell you how touched and overwhelmed with joy and love to know that my Grandfather and Great Aunt have been with me all this time trying to help me along the way. All this time and I was completely oblivious to their presence. I am so blessed and so grateful to know they are with me and love me so much.

I asked about my 4-year-old daughter and it was confirmed that she was remembering and not just making up stories. She remembers being an astronaut. She remembers being a whale.  She remembers being a mermaid (even though Erik says mermaids don't exist here on Earth...lol). Perhaps part of the mermaid tales are her remembering being a whale. It would be interesting to know more specifics about her past lives and maybe I will try to find out more in a private session with Jamie.

I was told that I am an empath. I previously suspected this as I really dislike big crowds of people. It makes me feel really anxious and uneasy to be in huge crowds of people. I think what surprised me most was being told how much I love people. I guess I didn't really think I did. lol  In fact there are times I thought I despised people in general. Hahaha But Jamie is completely right about me loving to know people's stories. I look at strangers and I wonder about their stories and how they got to the place they are now. Everyone has a story. And it is true that I have been told I am very perceptive. Jamie said I can know what people are feeling even if they aren't completely aware of what they are feeling. I have always thought of it as just picking up on their body language, but I guess there is actually a lot more to it than that.

I was told that I would eventually be very successful as a healer. I can't remember what kind of healer and will have to listen to the call again to find out. She said that it will take off in about 4 years. Upon starting this journey of wanting to be more connected with Spirit, I have said that whatever happens, I want to do something good to help people. I want to help heal humanity.  Becoming a healer is definitely not far fetched for me.

I asked about the identity of a different spirit guide I suspected I have and have been getting a lot of signs from lately. I feel like I know his identity, that this was confirmed in all the signs I have been given. When I asked for confirmation from Erik, he refused to tell me.  He said I needed to start trusting myself. It is true. I really do and I know I shouldn't doubt and second guess myself, but I always do. If I go with what I feel, I know what is true and I already know the identity of this spirit guide.  He is who led me to the Channeling Erik site in the first place. And maybe I will do a separate blog entry all about him for my next post.

I believe death is just a transformation. It is not the end. I was taught to fear all the things I was drawn to (all things metaphysical), but I will not let religion and society make me continue to fear something that I feel in my heart to be completely natural. I talk to spirits. I can't hear them yet, but I still talk to them. I welcome their silly antics to get my attention. I know in my heart they are around us all the time. Communicating with them is not "of the devil". It is natural and normal. We are meant to be able to connect and communicate with those who have transitioned. What isn't normal is this division we have created. We have cut ourselves off; shut our eyes and ears to those we love the most...to those who love us in return so fervently...simply because they have transitioned to what we all eventually will become. 

The time has come for this to change. We don't have to forget and move on when someone transitions. We can still have a beautiful and joyful relationship with them. They want to continue to have a relationship with us too, but we have to be open enough to receive this interaction.

Gratitude

I am a spiritual person but not a religious one. My power walks have been a time for getting inside my own head and reflecting upon whatever I feel at the moment I want to reflect upon. It is kind of like my time for "worship" if you want to call it that. Sometimes I talk to my inner voice and sometimes I just muse to myself about random things. For a couple mornings gratitude was the subject at the forefront of my thoughts.

It started with me being grateful my knees were working as they should because I had just spent a couple weeks unable to walk because of an injured knee. I was ever so grateful to be able to walk again. I was grateful for the legs and knees that still worked and were able to allow me to walk. That thought then led to thinking I was grateful I didn't smoke anymore and grateful for lungs that could take air deeply into my lungs without hurting. Emphysema isn't pleasant. I've seen it first hand. Yes, I'm grateful I am no longer going down that road. As I continued to walk I was grateful for living in a climate that allowed me to be able to get out and walk everyday. Our bad weather here in the Pacific Northwest really isn't all that bad. Yes, a few snowflakes is considered a snow storm and can shut our whole city down. lol I'm grateful for the rarity of snow so I don't have to wear snow shoes for my walks. 

I am grateful for the daughter I never thought I would have. She has taught me about what it means to be a mother. She has changed me in so many ways...for the better. I am grateful for a husband that takes all the many changes in stride and is patient with the mid-life crisis I seem to be having this year. lol I am grateful for the kind and generous hearts of his sisters, Miriam Mary and Jasmine. We've been rather lame at staying in touch with both of you and for this I am sorry.

Amrik and Inara

I walked on and mused on about what I was grateful for in my life. My friends I am very grateful for...new ones and old ones. Those of us with dysfunctional families can relate to friends being family. We take them in to replace the dysfunctional members to create some sense of family. My two best and oldest friends, Shannon and Leslie are my sisters. They understand me and know me better than probably anyone else. I am grateful for their continued presence in my life for without them I would surely lose my mind. lol  

Inara and Auntie Shannon

Auntie Leslie

I am grateful for the many new friends (Aysha, Hafidha, Ashely, Cierra, Julie, Nora, Tricia, Sandra, Lisa, Joey, Adele, Lily and too many others to name) I have made who share with me their positive energy and enrich my life in so many ways. I am grateful for the many long lost friends I've gotten back in touch with. Some have offered amazing words of wisdom (Ron and Dan), some have made me feel all my hard work is paying off (Don and Arron) and others have been an inspiration to me just by being themselves (Orrin and J.).

It's hard to tell what I will ponder about on my walk tonight. If it is something worth telling all of you about, you can be sure I will be blogging about it.  :) 

Perspective

per·spec·tive

 [per-spek-tiv]

noun

1.

a technique of depicting volumes and spatial relationships on a flat surface.

2.

a picture employing this technique, especially one in which it is prominent: an architect's perspective of a house.

3.

a visible scene, especially one extending to a distance; vista: a perspective on the main axis of an estate.

4.

the state of existing in space before the eye: The elevations look all right, but the building's composition is a failure in perspective.

5.

the state of one's ideas, the facts known to one, etc., in having a meaningful interrelationship: You have to live here a few years to see local conditions in perspective.

I have had days lately where I feel a little...well...crazy. lol Change is in the air for me and very much at the forefront of my life. I'm changing my body, my views, my behavior...all for the better. I am getting fit, I am inviting the positive into my life, and reaching out to friends and actually starting to DO some things again. As a Libra, all of this change can make me feel down right unbalanced at times. My relationships have sometimes suffered due to the unbalance I feel quaking inside of me. I sometimes lash out angrily with my words. Part of it is due to feeling a little like a toddler having a tantrum. It is my way of stamping my foot and saying I'm mad that I am not getting exactly what I want when I want it from that person. The other part of the issue is due to perspective.  I have, at times, made mountains out of mole hills and assumed things (in error) because of my impatience and skewed perspective.  At times I feel like it is the "end of the world" and "it's all over" and "I'm done" and then I say something to provoke, hurt or just get some kind of reaction. Yeah, I know it isn't right...especially with trying to become a better me. It certainly isn't a flattering trait that has reared its ugly head in me recently.

I've had to step back and try to figure out what I can do differently to make this new issue go away. It occurred to me that what I need to do is simply change my perspective. I have to try to look at things differently when I start to get anxious and annoyed that I am not getting enough attention in my relationships. If I can look at things differently then I am less likely to completely overreact and think that it is the end of the world every time I don't get exactly what I want. What a blessing that would be :))

photo by Mitra Mirshahidi

So after much thought about perspective and my own situation, these are the conclusions I have come to. Loving unconditionally means we can't put expectations on behavior or expect a return of the same kind of affection we give. If you love someone, you just have to love them without worrying about getting something back. You love them because your heart tells you you must. We must be what we want. We must love with our whole heart for the good of humanity. Yes, change your perspective and it will help you stay sane. We will each get through our unbalancing situations and wind up being better people for it at the other end.  If we are here to learn and grow, then we must learn from every experience and carry on. 


We create our own realities and one of the first steps of manifesting what you want is being able to see it, imagine it in your mind. I have lost sight of doing that very important step and am trying hard to start seeing what I want to manifest in order to create the reality I want. If you aren't doing that in your own life, try it. It really works. 

photo by Lee Faircloth